| Me, trying on dress: | How do I look? |
| Mom: | It could be a few inches shorter. And a lot lower cut. |
| Me: | I'll take it. |
Last time I graduated, I spent 2 weeks being all domestic (I baked! I did the laundry! I cleaned the house!) before going stir crazy and having to be saved by my ex-boss with a summer job.
This time, I consider it an accomplishment to marathon 6 episodes of Girls and paint my toenails orange in an afternoon.
Matthew Weiner: Oh, there’s still a hierarchy. Forgetting about remuneration and public adulation, there’s still a hierarchy in terms of the writer’s Olympic Dream. I have to warn you, journalism won’t be on this list.
GQ: Thank you for that.
Matthew Weiner: It would start with poetry, then go theater, novel, then film, and then TV, then maybe radio.
GQ: Why is that still true, when it’s obvious that some of the best work is being done on TV?
Vince Gilligan: It takes time. It started out when movies were the movies and TV was this bastard stepchild.
David Milch: The symbol retains its hold long after the substance which the symbol is supposed to represent has lost its real basis. Look. [pulls a stack of scratch-off lottery tickets from his pocket] I just stopped and got gas, so, like an idiot, I bought a bunch of scratch-offs.
[He distributes the tickets. Feverish scratching ensues and continues throughout lunch.]
Matthew Weiner: If we win, what happens?
David Milch: You keep the money. Please do. What I’m trying to illustrate is that none of us, thank goodness, needs $10. And yet we willingly submit to the hold the symbol has on us, associated with luck. In the same way, the mystique of the film writer holds long after the substance—in which films were a more powerful medium. That’s not true anymore, but the symbol still has its own autonomous reality.
Matthew Weiner: Part of it is just about scarcity. You can see Jon Hamm thirteen times a year, and you can see Brad Pitt twice. That in itself creates a magic and a hierarchy.
Dear Tony,
Thank you for showing me how to use the internet. You’ve been very helpful in getting me accustomed to modern culture. There is one thing that I feel strains our relationship however. Precisely, your inability to see me as a sexual object who would like to strip you out of your armor and fuck you on every available surface, including, but not limited to; Fury’s desk, Coulson’s desk, Bruce’s desk, every car you own, Asgard and any possible dimensions we might be thrown into.
To help accomplish this goal, and to assuage your guilt at “corrupting” an American icon, here is a list of people I have slept with. Edited for family members (sorry your dad was a fox).
1. Bucky (how could you not have guessed that?)
2. Peggy
3-18ish. Not more than 20 but no less than 10 fellow soldiers (it was wartime okay)
19. One of your dad’s research assistants (I like them smart)
20-25. Aforementioned exclusion
26. A French lady
27. The French lady’s friend
28. The French lady’s gentleman friend
29. Family exclusion again.
30-38. Star Spangled Singers
39. Bucky
40. Peggy
41-???. Bucky + Peggy
Please consider my request and get back to me ASAP.
Sincerely,
Steve Rogers
Captain America
The First Avenger
***
Dear Steve,
I think you hit Send All.
Sincerely,
Bruce (please don’t do it on my desk)
***
Steve,
Please remember to put a tie, sock or other identifying mark when you and Tony are engaging in private activities.
Natasha (unless you’re into voyeurism in which case, hit Clint up)
***
Natasha! That was told in the privacy of a drunken stupor. Cap - GET IT! But legit look me up if you’re aiming for triple digits.
Clint
***
I hate every single one of you.
Coulson
***
Captain of the Americas,
Your list is impressive but have you ever slept with a G-d? Loki
***
How the hell did Loki get on this email chain?
Clint
***
Fellow Avengers,
It is I, Thor, who is responsible. I regularly send my brother interesting cat videos and music mashups that he will find amusing. I thought the email could provide the same sort of bonding in judgement that the place of tumbling does.
xoxo
Thor
Thor Odinson
***
xoxo?
Clint
***
Fellow Avengers,
Tony taught me that xoxo was the proper salutation for electronic communication. Does it not mean ‘death to your enemies’?
xoxo
Thor
Thor Odinson
***
Speaking of Tony, has anyone seen what his response was?
Natasha
***
I got a visual on both Iron Man and Captain America’s position. Let’s just say you going to need some strong disinfectant Bruce.
Clint
***
HULK :(((
This link will take you to a commercial (crappy YT version here). I’m in no way affiliated with Canada’s Wonderland (more like GTA’s Wonderland, amirite?), an amusement park I haven’t visited since 2004. I just like this commercial so much that I check out of conversations when it comes on.
Thoughts:
- Marketing strategy is working: I haven’t paid attention to a Wonderland commercial in years.
- And yet, despite the funny and personal tone of this commercial, Leviathan, man.
- Funnel cake does fix everything.
- Being bombarded with commercials all the time makes me feel a bit weird tracking one down for non-commercial purposes. I feel like the difficulty of finding a commercial when I really want to draws attention to the fact that I so seldom want to. At least, outside of Super Bowl season.
- Business idea: rollercoaster speed dating.
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band - Bill Cosby
The chances of this existing and being authentic (it is) are so small that it gives me a certain kind of hope. If Bill Cosby can cover The Beatles live with such mumbling gusto then anything is possible. Anything.
(Source: eceu)
She brings the blueberry muffins. I bring the adrenaline rush of trying to back into the driveway and forgetting which pedal’s the brake.
i really admire the design for these stairs and how they incorporate a wheelchair access ramp. in a world were barrier free design is essential to living a full and happy life, its amazing to see landscape architect Cornelia Oberlander has taken literal steps to design stairs AROUND a ramp, instead of the other way around.
